Alex: Ryan was surprisingly chill about you living upstairs.
Steph: Really? Not even a little fuss?
Alex: You sound disappointed.
Steph: No, I just expected him to hem and haw a little about two of us living there.
Alex: I mean, he did have a few conditions that we have to abide by.
Steph: Like what?
Alex: Well, since you’re not an owner or an employee of the Black Lantern, you need to stay out of the bar when we’re closed. Unless you’re leaving or coming home.
Steph: I’m fine with that.
Alex: You also have to sign a residency agreement like I did. Basically saying you live up here at your own risk, and Ryan bears no liability if you slip and break your leg or something.
Steph: Okay. What else?
Alex: Valkyrie can’t live with us.
Steph: Excuse me?!
Alex: And no loud noises during business hours. Easy enough, don’t you think?
Steph: What’s wrong with my cat?!
Alex: Other than being extremely aggressive? To the point that you’re the only one who can get within two feet of her?
Steph: She let you get close that one time!
Alex: Because she didn’t see me.
Steph: What the hell difference does it make?!
Alex: I think he’s still a little traumatized. You know, from that time you threw her at his head.
Alex: The phrase ‘feral’ may have come up during our discussion.
Steph: He called her feral?!
Alex: And ‘rabid’. And ‘mangy’. And ‘hell spawn’.
Steph: Okay, fuckboy’s about to get the full Steph Gingrich treatment.
Alex: What does that mean?
Steph: It’s when I take care of the problem like a boss.
Alex: What does THAT mean?
Steph: Let’s talk later. I have an inner Machiavelli to channel.
Jessie: Please tell me that you don’t actually think I’m the kind of girl who would have a quickie on the side of the road.
Alex: … I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I was angry at Ryan for being late.
Jessie: We were stuck behind a truck bringing in generators. It was an oversized load, and we couldn’t go around. It wasn’t his fault, traffic was backed up all the way to the mine.
Alex: I know. Ryan told me.
Jessie: What were you late for that made you so mad?
Alex: I was supposed to be at the record store so I could meet Steph’s dad for the first time on a video call.
Jessie: Ah. Still.
Alex: I really am sorry.
Jessie: A couple of miners were in the bar when you said that. Now I’m the subject of the latest gossip. Those roughneck assholes can’t brag enough about their own depraved and exaggerated sex lives, but false rumors of me are apparently much funnier.
Alex: Please tell me how I can make it up to you?
Jessie: What’s that shot that you make Steph drink? The one that looks like kryptonite, and makes her want to puke?
Alex: … please tell me how else I can make it up to you?
Jessie: Nope.
Alex: I will buy all your drinks and appetizers at the next Ladies Night.
Jessie: SubTerra pays me a staggering amount of money for what I do. I can afford my own drinks.
Alex: I’ll tell you what Ryan got you for your birthday.
Jessie: You had better not. I want to be surprised.
Alex: I’ll work any date nights Ryan wants to have for the next two weeks.
Jessie: Three shots of kryptonite. And a serving of duck fries. That’s the price of my forgiveness.
Alex: How about I drink a glass of drain cleaner instead?
Jessie: See you this Thursday. Bring a bucket 🙂
Dad: About how far away from Denver is Haven Springs?
Steph: I know it’s about four hours by bus. Are you buying tickets?
Dad: Yep. Though I think I’ll reserve a rental car, I’m not a big fan of riding busses.
Steph: Not to mention that it’s probably faster. When are you coming down?
Dad: How’s the 16th through the 27th work for you two?
Steph: Sounds good. Also, you don’t have to worry about a hotel room.
Dad: I don’t?
Steph: Alex and I decided to move in together, but my lease isn’t up yet. I talked to my landlady, and it’ll be cheaper if I wait until January to break it. So you can stay at my old apartment.
Dad: Congrats!
Dad: And can you afford that? Breaking a lease up here is expensive.
Steph: I’m saving up for it.
Dad: How much is it? I can spot you.
Steph: I don’t need money, Dad. I’m just waiting because I have Christmas presents to buy.
Dad: Sorry. I still worry about you sometimes, Sweets. I want to make sure you’re okay.
Steph: I’m fine. Besides, Alex owns part of the bar, so she doesn’t pay rent for the attached apartment. My monthly expenses are about to drop like a hot potato.
Dad: Her apartment is in the bar?
Steph: It’s right above it. She’s got a thirty-second commute to work.
Dad: Is it a nice place?
Steph: Nice enough. Though the lack of a dishwasher kind of sucks, and there’s not much to the kitchen.
Dad: Yea, that does. But even so, I am extremely envious. I want to live above a bar.
Steph: Could your liver handle that?
Dad: One way to find out.
Charlotte: We’re all still down for Friendsgiving, right?
Ryan: I was wondering if I should ask.
Charlotte: Why? Are you not?
Ryan: I think so. I need to ask Jessie if she’s going home or not.
Jessie: Not. Does me being included here mean I’m invited too?
Charlotte: Of course.
Ryan: I was about to say, I’m not going if she isn’t.
Riley: Ryan, you know we love you, but you’re HER plus-one.
Ryan: … ouch.
Alex: Wait, Friendsgiving? What’s that?
Riley: You’ve never heard of Friendsgiving?
Alex: No. Is it a Haven Springs thing?
Jessie: It’s a universal thing. A bunch of friends who aren’t going to see their family for Thanksgiving eat together instead.
Alex: Oh. That sounds like fun!
Steph: Charlotte, you’re doing your mac & cheese again, right?
Charlotte: I had planned on it.
Ryan: Can you make extra, so there’s some left over when Steph is done?
Charlotte: I had planned on that, too.
Alex: Steph ate it all? Seriously?
Charlotte: Last year was the first time she did it with us, so I didn’t know what she was capable of. This year I’m doing a double batch.
Steph: Challenge accepted.
Duckie: You know I’m always in for good times with friends. One or two turkeys this year?
Charlotte: I think two, with the number of people.
Riley: You’re going to smoke them again, right?
Duckie: Of course!
Steph: Yum 🙂
Charlotte: Riley, can you and Eleanor do the mashed potatoes and yams again?
Riley: Nana says yes.
Ryan: What can we do?
Charlotte: Veggies, preferably.
Jessie: Oh, my mom has a really good green bean casserole recipe. I’ll get it from her.
Alex: What about me and Steph?
Charlotte: Well, we still need desert.
Steph: ALL the pie they sell at the store it is.
Ryan: You’re not going to try and make them?
Steph: I don’t know how to bake, and Alex can’t cook, so no.
Alex: Excuse me!
Steph: Tell me EXACTLY how I’m wrong. With specific examples.
Alex: … shut up.
Alex: I HATE THIS TOWN!!
Steph: FOR THE SAKE OF OUR LOVE, I’LL AGREE, BUT WHY??
Alex: There’s no 2-day Prime shipping! It’s gonna take, like, a week for anything to get here!
Steph: … are you seriously just figuring that out now?! You’ve lived here for six months!
Alex: This is the first time I’ve tried to order something off Amazon.
Steph: Where were you ordering from before?
Alex: Other online stores. Or your record store.
Steph: Ah. Yea, last I looked, we’re about 4 hours from the closest Amazon warehouse.
Alex: Which is…
Steph: Somewhere in Denver. We’re just outside their Prime zone.
Alex: Such bullshit.
Steph: What are you trying to order?
Alex: Christmas presents.
Steph: You’re doing that now? It’s not even Thanksgiving yet.
Alex: I’m trying to get ahead. I’ve got a couple of flannel shirts for Ryan, some art supplies for Ethan, and a cute bracelet for Riley.
Steph: Jesus, how many people are you buying presents for?
Alex: All the people I care about, who made me feel welcome in a new town.
Steph: … including me, right?
Alex: Babe, I ordered your gift off Etsy days ago.
Steph: Shit. I guess I’d better catch up.
Steph: Wait, Xmas isn’t for weeks. Why are you pitching a fit about not having Prime shipping? You’ve got plenty of time.
Alex: It’s more the principle of the matter. But now I’m questioning why I even have a Prime account.
Steph: For the TV shows. Duh.
Ryan: Did you buy the last of the lilies from Eleanor?!
Steph: Yes. Why?
Ryan: I needed them!
Steph: Me too. I’m giving them to Alex.
Ryan: You gave her flowers last week! I need to get some for Jessie!
Steph: I have a girlfriend who likes flowers, too. Deal with it.
Ryan: It’s Jessie’s birthday tonight, and lilies are her favorite flowers. I NEED you to help me out here.
Steph: Then maybe we should talk about letting my cat live in the apartment with me and Alex.
Ryan: …
Ryan: You fucking planned this.
Steph: Excuse me?
Ryan: The flowers. Jessie’s birthday. Valkyrie. You masterminded me into a position where I have to agree to let that THING live above the bar.
Steph: Ryan, buddy, you give me far too much credit.
Ryan: Bullshit. I’m the only one in town who doesn’t underestimate you. This REEKS of your Dungeon Master shenanigans.
Steph: We’re missing the point. You want lilies for your girlfriend’s birthday. I want my cat to have a proper home.
Steph: You can either drive to the next closest florist, which is two hours away by Google’s map, or we can discuss a fair trade.
Ryan: Never, ever, EVER.
Steph: Before you say that, try to work out the odds of you having sex tonight. Then work out what they are without Jessie’s favorite flowers in your hands.
Steph: And by the way, she told us during our last Ladies Night that none of her ex-boyfriends paid enough attention to know what her favorite flowers even were. Could you IMAGINE the things she’d do to the first man who not only knew her favorite flowers, but gave them to her on her birthday?
Steph: I can, because I thought to ask her. And I gotta tell you; your girlfriend has a lot more creativity than I initially gave her credit for.
Ryan: …
Ryan: Your fucking cat had better not tear up that apartment.
Steph: Alex has the flowers upstairs. Just knock.
Ryan: I hate you so goddamn much.
Steph: 🙂
