Dec 3, 2013 – First Choice Timeline

It was sometime after the first bell, when Victoria heard the knock at her door. She wouldn’t be going to classes this morning. She had things to do.

“Come in.”

The door opened and there stood her co-conspirator: Kate Marsh. She’d been the one to come up with the plan. She had texted Victoria that morning, letting her know that Max wasn’t getting better, but that there was no way Dana would let Victoria see her. Kate hadn’t slept at all. She said Max had been tossing and turning all night, screaming in her sleep. Victoria hadn’t needed Kate to tell her that. Half the hall had heard Max. She didn’t tell Kate that, though. She simply texted her back asking how she could help.

Kate said that her and Dana had agreed to take shifts. Kate would stay with Max in her room during their morning classes. Dana would come back during lunch and then take over for the second half of the day. Once Dana was on her way to that morning’s classes, Kate would let Victoria in to talk to Max, as long as Max agreed. Based on the fact that Kate was at her door, Victoria guessed the hipster had said yes. Well, if Kate Marsh of all people was skipping classes, Victoria sure as hell wouldn’t be going in today.

Victoria pushed up out of her desk chair, where she had been idly browsing her social media to pass the time. She hadn’t been able to force any real interest in the act, however, which just served to show her how much things were changing as of late. A few months ago, her friends and followers had seemed so important, the online world of curated imagery and posts pivotal in the maintenance of social order. Now as she browsed those various sites, very little in her feeds bore any real interest. Everyone was just going about living their day; yet here, her best friend had turned out to be a psychopath, her two next closest friends seemed to be borderline sycophantic sheep, her former rival was falling apart, and Victoria had taken it on herself to ensure that the girl had a fighting chance to get her life back. The only good thing that Victoria had going for her right now was Kate’s increasing presence in her own life.

Victoria had bullied the girl to the verge of suicide, and even if Kate had never attempted it, Victoria wasn’t naive enough not to understand how close the girl had come to that act. Over the past couple of months, Kate’s happiness had increasingly become Victoria’s primary concern, as if helping her back from the brink would somehow absolve Victoria from her own sins, from her role in the harassment that had led Kate down that path in the first place. In the beginning, that had meant apologizing. From there, Victoria had visited Kate frequently, stopping in to check on her almost daily. Those check-ins evolved into tea dates and movie nights, and soon enough, Victoria had been unable to deny that she felt a genuine kinship with the girl, her protectiveness of her ever growing  — which unfortunately had led her down a harsher path with Max than might have been necessary. With that girl’s inability to screw her head on straight tormenting Kate for so long, Victoria had initially started trying to force Max to face her demons simply to unstick the girl’s head from her ass and give Kate her best friend back.

Now, well, now Victoria had taken it too far. This wasn’t about Kate, anymore. It had stopped being about Kate the moment that Victoria had realized that the annoying waif hipster across the hall was about to get herself booted from school. That’s when it had hit her how much Nathan had destroyed Max’s life, and how much Victoria had herself contributed to that torment. And that wasn’t even counting the torment that the girl must have seen in that… that room. Now, now, Victoria had to make amends with Max, just as much as she had previously needed to right her wrongs against Kate. She doubted the two of them would ever be friends — they were so different — but she had never expected to form a real friendship with Kate either. Life… could be weird.

“So, we’re doing this,” she said, more than asked. Kate nodded.

“Yes. Just, go easy on her, okay?”

“Of course.” Victoria noticed the concern in Kate’s eyes and sighed. “Really. I know I went too far yesterday. I didn’t… didn’t mean for —”

“I know,” Kate interrupted. “Just, today, please —”

“Go easy on her. I understand.” Victoria screwed up her courage as best as she could, quickly massaging the tension out of her neck, then stretching out her arms. It felt as though she were preparing for battle, although she hoped that it would run more smoothly than that analogy implied. There was a lot that needed to be said, and as much as she had run through scenarios since receiving Kate’s texts, she still had no idea where to start.

“Shall we,” she asked. She may not have known how to start, but Victoria knew that this conversation needed to happen, and it needed to happen as soon as possible.

Kate nodded, and the pair made their way across the hall. Kate tapped three timid knocks on the door, then slowly eased it open. “Max?”

“Hey,” Max responded. Her voice came out weak and nervous, a hesitant  act of acknowledgement, devoid of any real force or emotion.

“Hey,” Kate said back, imbuing the single word with more empathy and concern than should have been possible. “You’re still okay… if…” Kate glanced nervously between Max and Victoria.

Max nodded. She sat curled into a nest of blankets on her bed. Kate settled onto the mattress beside her, while Victoria made her way over to the futon.

Crossing from the door, she noted the little details of the room: the ‘Keep Calm and Carry On” rug in the center of the floor, the acoustic guitar leaning against the futon, the wall of Polaroids and other photos, a couple vinyl records and a mix of indie rock posters adorning the walls. All the room needed was a string of Christmas lights or flimsy paper lanterns and the hipster chic look would be complete.

Victoria sat herself down, tapping her fingers in a slow rhythm against her leg. A quiet had settled over the room as if each of the girls were waiting for someone else to begin. Normally she’d have plowed right in and said her piece, but this required a more tactful approach than Victoria’s usual bull-in-a-china-shop, consequences-be-damned mannerisms. She wanted to help the girl, not send her into another meltdown. The real problem was Kate. Most of what needed to be said couldn’t be vocalized, not with Kate in the room; not unless Max agreed to share her story, which from the look in Max’s eyes the previous afternoon, Victoria was pretty sure was a permission she would not be granting.

“So…” she started, still with no idea how to really get the ball rolling.

“So,” Max agreed, shifting her eyes ever so slightly towards Kate, as if signaling the obvious dilemma.

Victoria nodded her head along in the ensuing quiet, still tapping out that nervous rhythm against her thigh. This was going swimmingly.

“I really… I am sorry,” she began again. “About yesterday.”

“Mmhmm.” Damn. Victoria puzzled over Max’s pseudo response, frustrated by its ambiguity. The little hipster could have at least thrown her a bone. She was trying here.

Kate chimed in, obviously attempting to break through the awkward hesitation.

“We’re worried, Max. Victoria’s worried. You’ve given up on your photography.”

Max hung her head, while Kate mulled over her next words in silence for a moment.

“It’s just…” Kate continued. “I don’t want, we don’t want to see you… to have you lose your scholarship.”

“I know.” Max still kept her eyes averted. Victoria watched as the girl reached out, her hand brushing over a one-eyed teddy bear just off to Max’s side.

“Victoria took the wrong approach, yesterday,” Kate said. “We know, but…”

Max snorted. Victoria couldn’t blame her. ‘The wrong approach’ was a massive understatement.

“I fucked up,” Victoria corrected. She might as well own it.

Kate paused, once more mulling over her words. The girl was sweet, but she was also too innocent for her own good, still struggling over swear words as if they were toxic. The more Victoria got to know her, the more endearing she found that reservation, even if a little childish. In better days, she also saw it as a challenge, a limit to push for Kate’s own good. Today was not that type of day.

“She messed up,” Kate started again. “But if you don’t submit the assignment soon –”

“ – by tomorrow,” Victoria interjected.

“ – soon,” Kate continued, pushing past Victoria, “we’re afraid you’ll be sent home. No one wants to see that happen, Max.”

Kate laid a hand on Max’s shoulder then, as if to punctuate the concern in her voice.  Victoria was fairly certain that the girl didn’t notice the way Max flinched at the touch, nor the slight twitch as she bit at her lip. Blackwell’s resident hipster was not ready to open up in front of Kate. The girl simply hugged that one-eyed teddy bear close, seemingly dropping any reservation about being seen with it by the other two girls. She was seeking solace wherever she could find it.

“Kate,” Victoria said, calling the girl’s attention.

“Yes?”

“Do you think you could get us some tea?”

“I suppose.” Kate looked over to Max as she asked. Max nodded and forced a small hint of a smile, assuring the girl it was okay. Obviously Kate didn’t feel comfortable leaving the two of them alone together. She’d make quick work of the request and be back before Max and Victoria could even delve into the matter. Victoria would need a longer distraction.

“Have you eaten, Max,” she asked, cutting a strongly pointed glare in Max’s direction.

“I’m not hungry,” she mumbled.

“Max.” Victoria placed as much disapproval into the name as she could, forcing the girl to look up and meet her gaze. When at last Max was looking at her, Victoria cut her eyes briefly to Kate. “You need to eat something.”

The quiet stretched out. Victoria was certain she had made her point, but she needed Max to play along if this was going to work. Finally, the girl nodded.

“You’re right. I could eat.”

“Great.” Victoria let a small sigh escape, then turned to Kate who was noticeably frowning.

“But, the cafeteria’s closed,” she said.

Victoria knew this already, but she played along, rubbing her chin for a moment in false consideration of the news . “Well…” She let the pause stretch out, further playing the moment, before continuing as if in realization. At least her brief stint as a drama kid understudy hadn’t been for nothing. “What about that diner up on the main strip? I’ve seen you there a couple times, Max. The Two Whales?”

Victoria feared Max would continue in her withdrawn silence, but luckily this time she played along with no resistance.

“I do like a good Belgian waffle…”

“What do you think, Kate? Could you run by and grab Max some breakfast and some tea?”

“I don’t know…” Victoria couldn’t blame Kate. In her position, Victoria wouldn’t trust herself either. Hopefully that characteristic Kate-naïveté, however, would play in her favor. Victoria could tell the girl was considering it, torn as she was.

Thankfully, Max weighed in. “It’s okay, Kate. Really.”

“You’re sure,” she asked, glancing between the two girls.

“Yes,” Max nodded. “I’m sure.”

“I guess.” Kate pushed herself up. “I’ll just be a phone call away. Ok?”

“Yeah.”

“You promise you’ll be… nice.” That last bit was said with a pointed look at Victoria.

“Yes, Kate. I promise.” Victoria nodded along as she assured her friend, hoping that her relief wasn’t written plain across her face. She didn’t want the girl to know she was up to something, and was praying that Kate was too trusting to truly suspect her.

Kate opened the door (not without one last concerned look, of course), then stepped out into the hall, pausing only momentarily in the threshold.

“You promise you’ll call if… you need to?”

“I promise,” Max said. At last, Kate reluctantly shut the door, leaving the pair alone in Max’s lair. Victoria let out an audible sigh, before returning her attention to her hipster rival.

“Alright. I guess we’re doing this.”

“I guess,” Max returned, the nervousness from before bubbling back up into her voice.

“So…”

“So.”

Here we are, back at square one, Victoria thought, resuming her rhythmic tapping along her thigh. She clasped the guilty hand with her other, ceasing the nervous habit. No time like the present.

“You know… that I know.”

Max shot her a questioning look, the slightest hint of yesterday’s trembling returning as Max hugged herself tighter in her nest of blankets. The girl needed confirmation; she needed to hear exactly what Victoria thought she knew, but it was just as clear that Max didn’t want to hear that confirmation no matter how much she needed it.

“I don’t know when,” Victoria continued, a slight quiver entering her own voice. “Not when or how… but I know you were there… with him.” She wanted to avoid using the bastard’s name. Max looked so fragile right now, curled against the wall, wrapped in blankets, clinging to that old teddy bear.

“Nathan,” she asked. Max’s voice held out a faint hint of hope. God. Victoria didn’t want to squash that hope; she really didn’t. She also didn’t see any way to avoid doing so.

“No, Max,” she said. “The other one. I know.”

Max lowered her eyes again, focusing now on her teddy bear and avoiding Victoria completely. She shuddered, the tremor running through her entire body, then slipping out with a meek, trembling question.

“Who have you told?”

“God, Max. I’m not telling anyone. I… I can’t… I don’t do that… not since Kate.”

Max bit at her lip, still avoiding eye contact. The two sat in silence, the secret finally out in the open. Victoria wanted to know more. She wanted to understand how Max could have been there in that room without anyone else knowing; how it hadn’t come up in the investigation or the news; but she also knew that this was something only Max could volunteer. Victoria had no right to dig deeper; not unless the girl was ready to talk. Still, they weren’t done here; not by a long shot.

“After Nathan… I went to her room… Kate’s room, to apologize. I told you. I don’t know if you remember.”

“Yeah.”

“I saw what I had done, Max. I saw her room. I’d seen rooms like that before… before my mom tried…”

“Victoria.” And there’s that trademark Max Caulfield concern. Victoria used to think that was just a part of Max’s whole shy girl act, but as the semester wore on, Victoria had started to have her doubts. There was a sincerity there, annoying as it was, and Max might just actually be that empathetic. It was nauseating.

“No. That’s neither here nor there.” Victoria collected herself in silence, then continued. “I knew where she was headed. Kate. I’ve tried so hard since then, to fix it; if that’s something that I can even ever do. I may not be the nicest girl on campus –”

– Max snorted, interrupting. Victoria decided to let it slide this once.

“Understatement, I know… but I never meant to actually hurt anyone, like really hurt them. So, yeah, I’ve tried to be there for her. For Kate. I… I may not seem it, Max, but I’m not the same girl anymore. I don’t want to be that girl.”

“Unless it’s to torment a selfie hipster. Then torture is okay.”

Victoria hung her head.

“No. Not even then. Tempting, but no.”

She’d hoped to break the mood; to garner a laugh or even the slightest chuckle. Instead, Max just sat there, stone-faced. Well, I can’t say I blame her.

“Shit. I wasn’t… I was never trying to torture you. Not since, since Chloe… I was trying to help.”

“Help?”

“Look, I don’t know how to soften the truth. I just… I confront it, okay? I say what’s on my mind. I say what I mean, and well, I try to force solutions. If I see a problem, I try to push straight to the fix. I’m not really delicate about it. I’m trying to be, but we all have our strengths, Max. This isn’t mine.”

“You don’t say.”

“I was trying to help. That’s all.”

Here, Max actually did laugh, a light, tense laughter, but laughter nonetheless. At first, Victoria hoped that it was a sign that things were moving in a positive direction, but that delusion was quickly doused.

“Doesn’t matter.” That tense laughter still seeped through each of Max’s words. “I’ll be gone soon.”

“Well, maybe. Maybe not. That’s what I wanted to talk about.”

“You’re going to magically make me better so that I don’t implode every time I take a photo?”

“Probably not. Not right away, at any rate.”

“Oh. Then I don’t see me sticking around.” A melancholy penetrated Max’s voice then, almost like she had actually hoped that Victoria had the magic bullet, the pill to just suddenly make everything better.

“See, that’s where I disagree.”

“Oh.” And there it was: hope. That’s right, hipster. Just a little bit of hope to keep you around.

“You think you could show me how you do your weird hipster bullshit?”

“My what?”

“You know. How you make your little artsy retro-Polaroids with your antique camera?”

“Could you be more condescending about it?”

“Probably.”

“Okay. Say I show you how to use my camera. How does that help?”

“Do I really have to spell it out?”

“Apparently.”

“Fine. You and I, we’re taking a field trip, today. Wherever you like. You point out the shot. However it is you pick out your artsy nature shots, or whatever it is that catches your eye. You point it out. You show me how you do you, with that ancient thing,” Victoria pointed at William’s camera. “Then I take the picture.”

“Wait. So you’re offering to do my homework?”

“For now. To keep you in here, since obviously you’re not going to tell the administration why you can’t do the assignment. Are you?”

“No.”

“Then yes. But you show me the shot. You’ll be picking out the framing, the focus, the lighting, all of that. I just snap the picture.”

“That’s… that’s actually really nice of you.”

“I know, right.”

“But, I still can’t.” Victoria saw this coming, but she waited for Max to explain anyway. “If I even hear the shutter… if I see the flash…” Exactly what Victoria thought.

She reached into her own bag, which she’d dropped at the edge of the futon, and pulled out a thick pair of headphones and a sleep mask.

“Noise-canceling,” she said, hefting the headphones up as she did. “I’ve got you covered. You point. You disappear into these. I shoot.”

“We’d be cheating, you know.”

“Well, it’s that, or you can explain to Wells why you’re unable to take photographs right now. One or the other. I’m not letting you get booted from Blackwell because of what that sick fucker did to you.”

“A field trip you say?”

“Atta girl.”