“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Remembering the gypsy’s words from a couple of years prior, Max had a new idea. She didn’t give a ton of thought to the woman’s cards at the time, but now that she was existing in this sort of ‘between’ space, she was ready to believe.
Okay, Max. You have to let go if you want to take control.
She sat on the bed and crossed her legs beneath her. Across the room, directly in her line of sight, Max glanced at her dresser and mirror. The second drawer from the bottom right was a semi-secretive space where she hid her collection of special items. To an outside observer, the drawer would have seemed like a shrine of childhood things, dedicated to her best friend, Chloe.
Anytime she would get sad after moving to Seattle, she locked her door and explored that drawer. She would spread the items out on the floor around her so she was surrounded by a simpler time from her life before everything changed.
<Shoestrings tied together with the words, “I Love You Forever” in the center. They formed two bracelets– one of which was earmarked for Chloe but was neglected to be given to her. Max was nervous back then that her strong goopiness would scare her best friend away. She never met anyone like Chloe before, constantly on her mind and in her heart. The strings were taken from two pairs of old shoes that belonged to both Chloe and Max, twisted together to form one band. They were tattered a bit, but certainly decent enough to wear as bracelets. One pink and one blue.>
She blinked away the memories and closed her eyes.
Just let go, Max.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Let go.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
My Chloe.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
The super-conscious.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
I need some help…
Abruptly, a familiar voice sliced through Max’s thoughts.
“Oh, so you want help? Thought you could control everybody and everything, huh? Twist time around your fingers?”
Max kept her eyes closed and focused on the words. She heard it all before somewhere but couldn’t quite place where or when. Though she was hearing the voice aloud in real time, she couldn’t tell if it was coming from her past or her future.
Wh-Who are you? How do I know you?
“Holy shit, are you cereal? I’m you, dumbass. Or I’m one of many Maxes you’ve left behind…”
Suddenly, like a bullet from the gun Chloe used for shooting practice in the junkyard, Max knew exactly who she was hearing. It was vivid. Like jumping into the deep end of a pool in the summer, she was transported back to her nightmare.
Max scanned her surroundings, knowing full-well she was in the Two Whales Diner where the lighting was dim, at best. She glanced down at her hands, wiggling a few fingers to make sure she was still in control of herself, then she folded them together on top of the table. Underneath her fists was a laminated restaurant menu.
“Home Style Cooking,” Max read aloud. “I miss Joyce’s so much. And her cooking was so good.” Max licked her lips but didn’t feel hungry at the moment. She knew she needed to focus.
We’re getting close now, Chloe. I have no idea what to do, but I can feel you somehow. I want to see your face and hold you in my arms… and… kiss your lips.
It was Chloe’s birth date she used as the code to release her from the nightmarish prison she was stuck in, welcoming her into the diner– into the deepest portion of her subconscious.
Thinking about her favorite person, Max remembered when Chloe assertively came in and stood up to her intrusive thoughts that came in the form of her physical self. The memory was clear in her mind, though, looking around the diner, it was empty.
Max visualized how it looked when she was there before. She stood up and walked towards the restroom. Beginning where she started in her nightmare, she meandered through the diner.
“Ok, so Dana was sitting on this table near the gumball machine.” She pointed at the table in front of her.
As soon as she spoke, Dana appeared on the table where she had been.
“Holy shit!” Max jumped backwards then steadied herself.
She tiptoed around the inanimate version of Dana she somehow created, observing the body that appeared before her. She reached out to touch the figure’s hair, but her hand went through like thin air.
“Incredible.”
Max faced the interior of the diner and began summoning every person she remembered, like playing some sort of crafting video game. When she got to Warren and Kate, she remembered her last interactions with them in her reality. She had felt sad, lonely, jealous, guilty, and an entire litany of emotions because they had simply found joy together. Max wanted to give Kate a hug and apologize to Warren, but she fought through memories of her past so she could focus on her current task; ultimately finding Chloe.
She did not stop until every individual, including random citizens, truckers, and police officers were in their spots.
After she had summoned everyone, Max was nearly out of breath. When she arrived, the place was completely empty. Now, the entire population of Arcadia Bay was sitting and standing all around her, including the ones outside of the diner on the sidewalk and in the street.
Max sat down in the booth where she had originally met the nightmarish version of herself to rest. When she raised her eyes and looked around to view all the work she had accomplished, she noticed the figure that looked like Victoria was staring in her direction from the booth in front of her.
That’s not right.
Suddenly, the blonde’s eyes twinkled an emerald green and she stood, walking in Max’s direction. Max felt her heart racing, as she feared what was about to happen.
“You made it a long way, Dearie.” Victoria sat on the opposite side, joining Max in her booth.
“Voodoo Man?” Max asked. “What’s happening to me?”
“Well, you can call me whatever you want, but yes. It is I.”
Victoria leaned towards Max, both elbows on the table, head propped in her hands. “I am impressed by you, Child. You have made it a very long way. When I first met you, I did not believe you were the one. But I am overjoyed that it is you.”
“I don’t understand,” Max faltered. “I am… the one?”
Even though he looked exactly like Max’s former nemesis from Blackwell, the bokor certainly didn’t sound anything like her. “We do not have much time, you and I. Just know that if you pull this off, it was a father’s determination and a soulmate’s love that brought your boonoonoonoos back.”
“A father’s love?” Max asked. “What does William have to do with any of this?”
“Like I said, we do not have much time. My spirit will cross over when you are finished. But you do have one more thing to do. You must play your role and create some way to convince yourself that saving Chloe is the only option that she will choose. That YOU will choose.”
Max sat silent as she replayed the events of the last couple of years in her mind.
“So, the gypsy… that was you?”
Victoria nodded.
“What about the girl in the bike shop?” Max hesitated. “Did you give me that bike; was that you?”
Victoria shook her head. “I have no idea who that girl was, but she no doubt made things easier for us.”
“Well, why all the theatrics? Why did you send me to that perfect beach reality? That was fucking cruel! You could have just told me everything.”
Victoria nodded again. “Quickly, I will explain.” She sat up straight and lowered her hands on top of Max’s. “So, if it makes you feel better, I did not lie when I said I had a daughter like you once. My village was attacked and I could not protect my family. My spirit has existed here in this realm for a thousand years, living in pain and regret. Until William’s spirit rescued me and asked for my help, I was a lost soul. We made a deal that I would try everything in my power to save both you and Chloe. I am very sorry for the torture I put you through, but I had to ensure you would bend but never break.”
“What did you mean when you said I am the one?” Max’s head was spinning. Everything she went through since Chloe’s death had been difficult, to say the least. Most of her more recent pain was induced by this bokor.
“William and I, we have tried to get you to this point repeatedly. We went back through the time loop hoping you would get to this point. The cycle continued no matter what we tried. Until we decided to see how resilient your spirit truly was; and with a little direction, here you are. We attempted many combinations of events and sequences of phrasing with minimal success. Nothing has brought you to this space until now. And now, you have one more task. Convince yourself to save your Chloe.”
Victoria broke eye contact and stood. “Use your memories, Child. The ones that will convince yourself.” She walked to the spot where she originally sat. “Play your role perfectly and you will save your soulmate.”
Play my role?
Max scanned the crowded diner then back down at herself. As she glanced outside, she caught a glimpse of her own reflection. In that brief second, she no longer saw herself. Only the eyes of her inner fears looked back at her.
Oh, fuck!
“Victoria! Or Voodoo Man, or bokor! Are you saying I have to become… HER!?”
Without turning back around the figure responded. “I’m saying, you always have been.”
Max eagerly, frightenedly wanted to ask a hundred more questions, but no words came out.
The blonde froze in place, and Max knew she was alone again.
