“When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most.”

-Unknown

——–

April 2014

Robin reached inside her pack and pulled out several ornate candles and a deck of cards. “Alright, Dearie. You paid for the full package. Let’s jump right in.” The woman, again, tilted her head down so her vivid green irises could be seen over the top.

She placed the candles one-by-one in a circle, lining the campsite’s picnic table. She lit their wicks then positioned the stacked cards in the center. Flipping over the first, the woman glanced at Max, smirking.

“Wh-What does it mean?” Max inquired, eager to know the gypsy’s thoughts about the card she pulled. Max already came a long way to get to that point; it seemed she was finally about to get some real answers.

Robin pointed at the item, then she pointed up at Max. The word “ Death ” was printed at the bottom. “This card is reversed, Dearie. On its own, this means you are holding onto something, or someone. Which we already knew. One of the indications of the reversed death card is deep stagnation and decay. Do you believe you are not moving forward, Child?”

Death?! 

“Maybe it’s not as ominous as it seems, Max.” 

Chloe? I haven’t heard your voice in days. Where have you been? I’ve missed hearing you. 

Max squirmed uneasily where she was seated, alternating her glance from the card to the woman’s eyes.

“I’m always with you. Partner in time and crime, ya know. I told you; I would never leave you.” 

“Some people get worried when they see the Death card, Dearie. It does not mean you are going to die soon. This Slavic-based deck has the face of Marzanna, and she is literal Death. But still, this one indicates you are the beginning and the ending of a cycle. A very important piece.”

Quizzically, Max tilted her head and squinted. “The beginning and ending of… a cycle?”

Before she answered, the gypsy flipped over another card and continued. “The reversed Tower . Now, this is curious. Two reverses in a row. And the meaning of this reverse is an avoided disaster. But, again, we already know this about your story, don’t we?”

Max felt a little embarrassed. She knew her time with the gypsy would make her feel abundantly open and vulnerable, but the woman’s words were pressing down on her very soul. She felt naked and exposed to the universe.

Robin flipped over the third card. “The Hanged Man . This one is upright, which implies sacrifice and martyrdom. We both know…”

A tear slid down Max’s cheek. She quickly reached up and dried it, hoping Robin hadn’t noticed.

The gypsy stopped talking and gazed at her client’s face. “Oh. I’m sorry. We can slow down if you want.”

Max shook her head.

“Are you sure? I’m just trying to give you the most bang for your buck.”

Max nodded. “No, please keep going. I’m fine.” She pulled the bottom of her shirt up and dried the remaining moisture from her face, much more obvious this time.

Robin flipped the next card over, setting it beside the other three in line. “Interesting. This is called the Hierophant card. It implies morality and ethics– choosing one thing over another where the ethical and moral obligation might be skewed or grey. Seems to fit with your situation, no?”

It’s like she’s looking directly into my heart and mind. How are these cards so accurate? How is she doing this?! 

“ This hierophant card is ruled by Taurus. It has also been called ‘The Pope’ card in some places. But rather than offering advice about religion, this one informs wisdom, institutions, and tradition. The three crowns on his head represent all three levels of individual existence: the conscious, sub-conscious, and super-conscious. This card being pulled now is very important, Photographer.”

“Lastly,” the woman flipped the fifth and final card, “the Seven of Swords . Oh wow! This card is upright, meaning tactics of strategy or deception. All five together are so very interesting for you. This is how I would interpret these five together,” Robin coughed then continued. “A few of them simply told your story. You had to sacrifice someone you love because of a moral injustice done directly to both of you. I’m sorry for your struggles, by the way… truly. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, these moments are frozen in time in your memory like… I dunno… like a museum of profound moments. You keep living them again and again. The final card is a little tricky, as it implies your need to deceive. Which, to me, isn’t your natural bend. But this is who you must become. You must temporarily deceive yourself if you want to see her again.”

I don’t want to deceive anyone! I just want Chloe back! 

“This is all I can offer you at this time. Take it from me, you are on the right path. You are doing very well, even if you feel lost sometimes. Just think about what I have said here today. There is meaning to the madness. Put some serious thought to it all. I know your end goal is to find your lost love. However, what if your purpose is bigger than your own individual consciousness? Could you make the choice to seek Chloe’s happiness over your own?”

What the fuck is she talking about?! 

Max abruptly stood from the table, palms slamming down in front of her. “Chloe’s happiness over my own? What does that even mean? Her happiness and mine are one in the same!”

“I’m sorry, Dearie, but in order for you to take control, you have to let go. One final thing; your path ends in Georgia. There’s a man there that can help you, but you have to find him. This is all I can offer.” Robin stood from the table, quickly collected her belongings, readied her bike, and took off. Max walked down the path a bit and stared at the woman’s dust trail as she and her bike disappeared around the foliage-lined curve.

Chloe, I really need you now! What am I supposed to do!? 

Max turned back to the table and noticed the gypsy’s pack of cigarettes laying on top. She shrugged and sat back in her spot, opened the pack, slid one out, and put it in her mouth. She lit the end and took a drag.